What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
