I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
