I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
