once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
