There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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