Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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