well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
