R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I think i peed on brittanys purse
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
