I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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