so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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