We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
