It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
