Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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