Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My feet surprised me
Randomize
