also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm like, not good at living.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
