Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
