no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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