Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
