ya dads aren't the best wingmen
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
COCAINE IS GR8
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
