Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
