found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
