Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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