that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
