i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
