Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
