The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize
