Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
