Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
