Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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