highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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