textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
