sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
