U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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