After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
