Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize