Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize