SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
