Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
