She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
