Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
