You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
