Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
