I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
