I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
