I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
