? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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