Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
