what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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