Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
