On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
