just tell him i said nine months
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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