so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
