did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
