I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
