I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Come see our sink grown plant.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
