apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You pole danced in your parka.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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