I want to make a zoo with you.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
