I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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