i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
