So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
