He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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