i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Randomize
