Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
